21 Red Flags To Watch Out For In A Wife
Marriage is a lifelong commitment and choosing the right partner is crucial for a happy and successful life. While it’s important to focus on the positive qualities of a potential partner, it’s equally important to be aware of red flags that could indicate a problematic relationship. In this blog, we will be discussing 21 red flags to watch out for in a wife.
1. She insults you in public
Great marriages are built on mutual respect. This means you never talk poorly about your spouse in front of other people. If your girlfriend insults you in front of your friends (or her friends, or strangers), she doesn’t respect you. Move on.
2. She insults you in private
Same idea. If she respects you, she won’t make insulting comments. Insulting words can’t be taken back. If she says it out loud, it means she’s been thinking about it for a while. A woman who loves you will build you up. She won’t tear you down.
3. She rolls her eyes at your dreams and aspirations
Again, the right partner WANTS you to succeed. She’ll be happy with every win. And most importantly, she believes you CAN succeed. Dismissing your big dreams and goals is a red flag. She doesn’t believe you’re capable. Move on
4. She uses sex as a bargaining chip
Sex is the most emotionally powerful force on the planet. Used properly, it connects two individuals on the deepest possible human level. If she cheapens sex by using it to get what she wants, she doesn’t understand or respect this power.
5. She uses “silence” to argue
Lasting marriages require mature communication. Techniques such as the “silent treatment,” are not how emotionally mature people communicate. Conflicts will be inevitable in your marriage, but they can never be resolved with silence.
6. She’s constantly in drama or fights
“Call me a horse once, I’ll ignore you. Call me a horse twice, I’ll call you crazy. Call me a horse 3 times, I’ll go buy a saddle.”
If you’re constantly surrounded by problems, the problem is most likely you. Extrapolate this accordingly.
7. She doesn’t want you to meet her family
This one is controversial. But when you marry a woman, you marry her family. For better or worse. Her relationship with her parents will often predict her future relationship with her kids. Your kids deserve a happy extended family.
8. She doesn’t have any long-term friendships
Controversial again. But I’ve repeatedly found the happiest, most well-adjusted people all have a handful of long-term friendships. If she can’t point to anyone who’s been in her life a long time, what does that say for YOUR future?
9. She can’t admit when she’s wrong
The ability to admit you’re wrong is one of the hallmarks of an emotionally mature adult. And emotional maturity (from both parties) is a hallmark of an enduring marriage. If she can’t acknowledge mistakes, there are stormy skies ahead.
10. She’s still in contact with her ex
This should be obvious. But there is no reason, zero, to be in contact with a former partner once you’ve entered into a new relationship. This goes both ways. You can’t plant a new garden with one foot still covered in rotten, diseased soil
11. She cheated on her ex with you
Past behavior predicts future results. This is a truism of human nature. Don’t blame me. I’m simply the messenger. A woman capable of cheating once is capable of cheating again. This is not a lesson you want to learn the hard way.
12. She still has feelings for her ex
Another obvious one. But you’d be surprised how many men fall into this type of relationship. It’s very rare as humans that we can truly love two people at once. If she still loves her ex, she doesn’t love you.
13. She relies on social media for validation
Social media is one of the greatest tools ever invented by mankind. But it’s also one of the most dangerous. Her validation should come from her intrinsic worth, as measured by her ability to get what she wants out of life. That’s it
14. She constantly scrolls her phone when she’s with you
Maybe she’s seeking external validation. Maybe she’s addicted to technological dopamine hits. Or maybe she’s just not that interested in what you have to say. Whatever the reason, if she can’t get off her phone, move on.
15. She has no conception of self-improvement
It’s natural & healthy for humans to grow and change with time. We shouldn’t be the same person we were a year ago. If she thinks she’s a “finished product”, you’ll either stay stagnant with her or resent her stagnation as you grow.
16. She expects elaborate or expensive gifts for every little occasion
The desire for elaborate gifts is rooted in ego and entitlement. Find a woman who values the thoughtful and the sentimental over the expensive and elaborate. You’ll thank me later.
17. She doesn’t show gratitude for the gifts you give her
If she really loves you, she’ll love any gift you give her. Because it came from you. And that’s what she really cares about. If she isn’t grateful for your thoughtfulness and love, she doesn’t deserve you.
18. You’ve caught her in a lie
Yes everyone lies sometimes. But not every lie is created equal. The litmus test: does the lie in question violate a sacred trust? Only you can answer that. And if it does, you know what you must do.
19. She’s rude to waiters or servers
How does she treat people “beneath” her? People who can’t do anything for her? Nothing shows a person’s true colors like how they treat waiters and servers. Use this test on everyone in your life. Especially your future spouse.
20. She describes all her exes as “crazy” or “jerks”
Again, when you’re surrounded by problems, the problem is you. Nobody is so unlucky in love that they magically, exclusively winds up with sociopaths. There’s always a reason. And that reason is usually in the mirror.
21. She’s rude to her parents
Every family isn’t perfect. And yes good people can come from bad families. But choosing a spouse is a MASSIVE investment in YOUR family. If she doesn’t get along with her parents, be wary of the generational patterns this often portends.
Being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect, support or trust you can lead to heartache and disappointment. Identifying these red flags early on can save you from a lot of pain and heartbreak. Keep in mind that everyone is different and what may be a red flag for one person might not be for another. Trust your instincts and make sure to choose a partner who brings out the best in you and is committed to building a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
